Worry pretends to be necessary but serves no useful purpose. – Eckhart Tolle

 Photo by  Char Beck

Photo by Char Beck

My husband has always said, "Worry about things you can change. Not about things you cannot change." We believe in and attach ourselves to thoughts that are, in actuality, random and spontaneous. We have no claim to where the thoughts originated, only that they are thoughts that keep us – obsessing, worrying, depressed, reflecting, planning, working through problems, and are intrusive interruptions. Do you know what your thought is going to be in the next moment, or 30 seconds from now? Of course, you don’t, right? A thought that enters your brain is a random fluctuation of energy. YOU are the one that gives meaning to your thoughts. Stop trying to “control” your thoughts, and practice mindfulness and meditation as soon as you recognize that it’s “only a thought” and not truth. It’s high time you stop suffering from those “thoughts” that keep pulling you away from the present moment. Live in the moment.

Lose the pebbles.

"It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out; it's the pebbles in your shoe. Muhammad Ali." Everyday distractions take you off course, and you trip on each pebble that is a "what if" or "what could have been." I did this a lot in my life, and do it even today. However, when negative energy is changed to positive energy, the mountains are easier to attain. Only you can change the perspective of your day. 

Concentrating on negative "thoughts" bring negative expressions and feelings, and it is a one-way street, unless you choose different. Try to remember that they are only "thoughts," and can be eliminated or adjusted. What you have learned over time, can be unlearned. You have to do the work. Continually ask yourself when you have a negative thought, "Is this real?" "Is it only a thought I have?" If so, work through it to find the source of discomfort or pain. Find a balance of what is real and what is not. Acknowledge it. Don't wallow. Climb up that mountain, even baby steps, with confidence and assurance. Others have walked/and will walk that path with you. YOU'VE GOT THIS!!!

Mother's Day

MOTHERS come in all shapes, sizes and types. The infamous "Mother's Day" is upon us, where we honor our mothers of past, present, and future. I'm in awe of each of you, as you try to make this world a better place. My mom was one who always managed to juggle 4 kids' laundry, food, sports schedules, activities, and gave us each a smile at the dinner table. She was funny, kind, loving, educated, loved her family more than life, and was a darn good cook. She never knew a stranger either. She was a humanitarian, a volunteer, was never void of things to do, and a gift to our family. 

I have SO many GREAT MOM friends, some of which are mothers that bear their own children, ones that raise the children with their husband or as a single parent, ones that adopt, ones that foster, or they are a woman, a sister, aunt, grandmother, girlfriend, etc., who is/was a surrogate parent for children, due to mental or physical illnesses or death of the mother. Each of you plays an integral role in a child's life; their physical, emotional, behavioral and their educational growth. Adding a little humor, these mothers fill the bill. You are perhaps one of these, or know someone who fits the description: https://www.babygaga.com/15-different-types-of-moms-we-all-know/

There was an article on Facebook, nature's mothers "are the best" - insects, reptiles, mammals - in how they protect their babies. It's an amazing phenomenon how alike we human mothers are. Shelter is provided from dangers. A home is found to live in, sometimes sacrificing their own comforts for the children, and some losing their lives in childbirth. An environment of love is available the best they know how, and most children know that their mother will be there as long as they need her.

Eric Fromm quoted, "The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent." J. D. Salinger is quoted to say, "Mothers are all slightly insane." Yes, at one point or another in a child's life, that is truth spoken. Washington Irving stated, "A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."

Go now, mothers, and love on your children and grandchildren. Find reasons to hold them, talk gently to them, and play with them, and giving them reason to do well in life, not only for themselves, but for the entire world. Look onto yourselves with brilliance, and love, and light, because you are. As Lady Gaga stated, "Acceptance, tolerance, bravery, compassion. These are the things my mom taught me." Having children puts the whole world into perspective. Everything else just disappears.  I honor all mothers. Happy Mother's Day, May 13, 2018!

It's the Little Things

As an infant and in early childhood years, my parents moved our family of 6 several times: from Warrensburg, MO, to Spokane, WA, Hayden, AZ, and finally landing in Riverside, CA, where I attended 3rd grade elementary through high school. I was rich in heritage and love. Still am. I learned to shift each time, making new friends and creating new stories. While we were in the throws of each relocation, all of that moving caused immediate anxiety and disturbance of my calm, yet eventually offered new opportunities to see the life/lives in each home and community, and my experiences accelerated with each locale. I didn't realize that when I was young, but I express it easily now. It GREW me. Great memories stay with me: before kindergarten in Spokane, first and second grades in Hayden, and the rest of the childhood schooling in Riverside. Walking, talking and laughing with my new friends, skipping around worms on the sidewalks, missing the cracks in the sidewalk to not "break my momma's back," making May baskets for our neighbors and running away before they knew who rang their doorbells, building a snow fort and throwing snowballs at my brothers and neighbor children, climbing trees, racing bikes in the cul-de-sac, playing outside until 9 or 9:30 at night. A ragged fence in front of our home in Hayden, AZ boasted of honeysuckle fragrances in the spring/summer, so every time I see or smell honeysuckle or lilacs, I think of the first time I experienced the luscious scents. We lived simply. I was one of the fortunate ones, because I learned about creating fun wherever I was at the time. The exploring my brothers and I did with our childhood friends, gave me an appreciation for the beauty of this earth and the country we are blessed to reside in. This allowed me the acceptance and love of each person. Most of the time, I found good in everything and everyone. My heart and eyes were always open to accepting it/them "as it is." Perfection.

Do you need to change "what it was" to "what is?" Don't cripple yourself with thoughts and emotions from a past that only brings sadness or discontent. "I shoulda, woulda, coulda..." need to reside in the past - left in the past. Live in the present, and let us have your presence.

We are in a hurry-up, get-things-done lifestyle, and it's difficult to slow down to enjoy moments that could otherwise be very meaningful. Don't rob yourself of some of the beauties of our Earth and its habitants. Clothe yourself with sunshine, walks in nature, have occasional chocolate chip cookies, observe different shaped leaves falling in the grass, beautiful colors of flowers and trees, hold your babies/children/loved ones longer, hang out with people that make you laugh, friends that complete you. Let your life "pop" with color and distinction. Observe the changes in seasons, the new buildings going up in your neighborhoods, the parks full of laughing children, the warmth of friendships. Let your observations thrive and be nourished with surprises, and giggles, and purpose. Appreciate TODAY, as you have never done before.